Here’s a few pictures from Eric’s Staff Christmas Party.  Ever year he gives me the option of having the party here in our home, or taking the girls out to a restaurant. So far, I keep choosing here. I love parties. I love the decorating, the meal planning, the invitations, all of it. This year’s menu was Italian. Decorating was a Martha Stewart style. The 3 older children and 2 of their friends helped in the kitchen and with babysitting. It was an exquisite night!

~Menu~

Beverages- Cranberry Limade Punch, Sparkling Water, Ice Water with lemon

Appetizers- Antipasto, Bruchetta (tomato, white bean, marinated artichoke)

Main Course- 4 cheese ravioli with creamy tomato-basil sauce, Pesto Gnocci

Sides- Lemon Asparagus Risotto, Steemed Green Beans, Oven baked Asparagus with sea salt and garlic, bread 

Dessert- Vanilla Cheesecake with fresh strawberry syrup, Tirimisu

Coffee, Teas

The biggest challenge is having all this food done at the exact same time with only 4 burners on my stove. (Dreaming of that big 8 burner stove).  But with lots of help from my kitchen helpers, we did it. The food was amazing! (which like every year, I totally forgot to take pictures.)

I used burlap cloth from Joann’s for the table cloths. Got it on sale. Much cheaper than Table cloths and I like them better. They are my new favorite for parties. I used fresh cedar garland. It made the house smell like Christmas. Joshua and Maryann collected pinecones and bull thistles from our property that I stuck in the garland. I took ornaments and stuck them throughout the garland for added sparkle. We tied tulle around the chairs. Makes them look prettier.

 Garland

Burlap cloth for tablecloths

The before.

And after…

Drying the wet pin cones by the wood stove.

Our Dinner Guests

My kitchen helpers

My waiters. (They dressed themselves, and I loved it!)

***I blog for 2 reasons. First, for my children. Since I gave up scrapbooking over a decade ago. This is a place where I can collect pictures, stories, and memories of them growing up. Someday, I’ll have it printed into a book for each of them. And that will be there “scrapbook”. Second, for our friends and family who live far away. It gives us a way to stay connected at a glance. To be a part of each other’s life, even when we are 3000 miles apart. So today, this letter is for my children. I have thought and thought of how best to write about this. And a letter keeps coming to mind. It seems the best way to remember what happened. ***

My Dearest Little Children,

I am so sorry. As I sit up late tonight, all the lights turned off, teeth brushed, and each of you in bed, I hear your sobs. I hear your crying. I am crying too. If only I could just turn the clock back a day. I had no idea that we would all be heart broken tonight. I am so sorry. 

I remember the day we got Toffee. She was barely 6 weeks old. She was beyond excited when we met her at the park that day. Yet, she had definite signs that she had not been loved before. I can’t think of a better place for her to have spent the next 18 months of her life than in our home, a part of our family. I have loved watching her grow. I have loved watching each of you fall in love with her. She was my first dog. And each of yours first dog. I loved how gentle she was with each of you. Even you, little Jules. When you would just lay down right on top of her, she would patiently wait for you to get up. Joshua, I loved watching you and Toffee just 2 days ago playing out in the front yard. You were making her run around the two big rocks, making big circles, and then sharing a little piece of your candy with her when she came back to you. It was the perfect picture of a boy loving his dog unconditionally. My heart overflows with happiness that you shared that afternoon with her. 

Her favorite things to do was to chase after you children in your play. Jumping through piles of leaves, racing along side you on your bikes, running across the fields. She loved being with each one of you. Many a day I stood at a window, watching you playing, and seeing Toffee right there by your sides. I felt safe with her here. That was one of the reasons we chose to get a dog. To keep the cougars and bears away. As she grew, the more confident I felt with you outside, knowing Toffee was always there on guard for you children. 

Oh, my children. I want so badly to wake you up in the morning and see her on our front porch. Waiting for her breakfast. Tail wagging, ears perked forward in that crazy way she did. But she won’t be there. Daddy buried her out in our field. Under the Maple tree. He wanted a special place so that you could know exactly where she is. So that we could go and mourn for her. So that when we missed her, we would know she was there. As I have wiped your tears today, held your sobbing little bodies, watched you grieve the loss of our dog, I have felt so helpless. We didn’t even have a chance to save her life. To say goodbye. I didn’t even know she was dying. I am so very sorry. But I know that Toffee loved each of you. She loved this home and all the attention she got from each of you. She hardly suffered. For this I am so very thankful. 

I know over time the pain will be less. The memories farer away. But it’s OK to cry right now. It hurts to lose something that you love. So just come, and I will hold you and we will cry together. And I will wipe your tears. I love you. 

love~Mommy

We hiked 

The view from the top

Making the decision on how to get down the hill.

A Joshua Tree

The day we went to a beautiful wedding. 

 The Icehouse, Phoenix, AZ

Showing Papa his new suit

There are always lots of pictures like this one that don’t get put on here.

Gabe figuring out the grass was fake!

My absolute favorite picture of the day!

Our 88 year old Grandma.

And she was wearing the most comfortable shoes of the day!

They had sparklers for when they left. The children were very entertained by them during the wedding.

After a night of partying, they curled up on a couch at the reception and went to sleep.

I am finally getting caught up on my pictures and blogging. About a month ago, we drove over to Reno. Eric met up with our friend and continued onto Vegas for a dental convention. The children and I hung out with our good friends from dental school for 4 days. We went to museums, climbed a HUGE rock wall, shopped, and played. Lots and lots of play!  

A Grape Flower Vase. Given by Josh

Taking a nap in the sunshine

Take a second look here…The dog is looking right at Jules pop tart!

Ready for our hike.

Lake Tahoe

Looking over “Fanny Bridge”

Made it to the Farm a few weeks ago to get pumpkins  The children had so much fun running through the field trying to find the perfect pumpkin. I told everyone they could pick one pumpkin, but somehow, when we left we had close to a dozen. I guess it was no big deal.. I have a huge front porch! Everybody explained they picked ones for me and Jules.  The white ones were my favorite.

Michael hurt his foot the day before, so he had a makeshift cane

I have finally finished another room. I painted shortly after we moved in, but after awhile didn’t like the paint. The challenge with this room was all the doors and walkways. It is in the back corner of the house with a door going outside and a sliding door on to the deck. There is a stairwell and two other hallways leading into the room. And it is a small room. The wood stove is in here. This is the door where all the children run in and out to play. So shoes, boots, coats, and whatever else seem to always collect in here. The wood stove makes it a cozy room. Definitely the warmest room in our house all winter. 

So the challenges were these-

1. Make it a “cozy” spot to sit by the fire, or read a book

2. Organize all the shoes, hats, and stuff that needs to be there

3.  Have a good “flow” to the room with all the doors and hallways

This is what I did…(I’m trying to find the before pictures)

$15 chair and $5 table from garage sale

A few extra bins for hats, scarfs, flashlights, and a “Lost and Found” for all the stuff left behind when we have a party.

it’s late. i can’t sleep. It’s been one of those days where my mind is a million miles away from where it should be. A mommy is battling cancer. She has been fighting for 6 years. She has been in remission twice. She has five beautiful children. I met her four years ago. It was one of those friendships that seems like it’s been there forever. Our two families quickly became really good friends. We did so much together, almost always with our families in tow. Actually pretty much everything was a family affair. Meals, outings, adventures. All 10 (at that time we had 5) of our children loved spending time with the other family. Our husbands enjoyed each other’s company. Such a rare treasure to find. 

When I met her, she was so full of life. Love. Thankful for the second and third chance she had been given at life. Her diagnose had come when her littlest girl had just turned one. Stage 4 colon cancer. She had fought hard and conquered. Every 6 months she would have tests, checking for any cancer that might have come back. And just before her seven year mark, which is when the doctors would give her a clean bill of health, it was there again. And this time, after all the fighting, after all the doctors and medicine have to offer, she has been sent home with only weeks, maybe days left to live. And I am heartbroken. I can hardly even see as I type these words. We live almost a thousand miles apart now. It’s been over two years since I have seen her. But the news this week brought back all the memories like it was yesterday. Each one of those children’s faces. The joy and love that bubbled out of their family. And I have wept. To imagine the sadness now. Waiting for what is now the inevitable. For a child to go to sleep at night and not know if, when they awake, their Mommy will still be there to hug and kiss them good morning. To be a child and have to lose the love of your life.  Five beautiful, life loving, exuberant children. 

I..am..heartbroken. 

My head wants to scream “WHY???” Why, God, Why not one of the horrible men who abuse or destroy children? Why not someone who went on a killing spree? Why not take them away from here. Make this a safer place. Why does it have to be a Mommy? 

But my heart knows the answer. We live in a fallen world. Where sin prevails. Where Satan roams freely. Where all death is inevitable. Where, even though it does not seem so, life is only a blink of the eye. What is ahead, what is important is Eternity. That word. Eternity. I can not even wrap my brain around the true meaning of it. 

1. Infinite or unending time.
2. A state to which time has no application; timelessness.

I once heard a story that I thought was a good visual of Eternity. “If a dove were to fly around the whole world, and at the end of circling the earth, his wing brushed a piece of dirt off, and then he continued to do so, until the entire earth was a pile of dust, Eternity would only just have begun. 

And so every moment here counts. Counts towards where we spend Eternity. In the presence of God, or in His absence. He gives us that choice. And right now, as I grieve for this family, God speaks. His Word is truth. He is just. He is Love. He is the Beginning and the End. He will be there for those children and her husband, when she can not. He will hold their little hands and hearts. He will pick them up and breath life into their exhausted bodies. He will give them strength and walk each step beside them, until he calls them home. To be with Him. For Eternity. 

~cheryl